What Belonging Means To Me
June 30, 2025
Category: Perspectives
Tags: Belonging, NCCJ, North Carolina, You Belong,
NCCJ Board Member Tina Firesheets share her story about belonging.
I was in second grade when my grandfather told me to go back to where I came from.
Bewildered, I ran from the house, blind with tears. My father found me nearby, sobbing. I was hurt and angry, and didn’t understand how this hateful old man could be so cruel. My parents had just separated, and my father and I moved to rural Western North Carolina to live with my grandparents. My mother, who was Japanese, returned to Japan.
My father, an Appalachian native, whose family was most likely Scotch-Irish met my mother at a military base in Japan during the Vietnam War. My parents adopted me from Korea when I was about a year old. I had always known that I was adopted and that I was different even within my own family.
My grandfather’s words hurt me because the message was clear: I didn’t belong. I didn’t belong in this country, and I didn’t belong in his family.
Throughout my life, I have been drawn to those who also felt that they didn’t belong. Whether it was because of their race, class, sexuality or way of thinking. I eventually developed a close relationship with my grandparents, and even helped care for my grandfather following a series of strokes near the end of his life. Although I was exposed to racism early on, I also learned that when we get to know people — when we peel back the layers of who they are — we can understand them better. We learn what’s behind their actions or the way that they think. We learn that relationships, especially within our families, are complex.
As a journalist, I was compelled to tell the stories of immigrants, refugees, those who were unhoused, differently abled, poor or misunderstood. I never stopped identifying with those who might have felt that they didn’t belong.
It was also as a journalist that I became aware of NCCJ and its mission. I got to experience Anytown and witnessed firsthand how transformative it can be. The power of coming together, learning from each other across differences and realizing that we have more in common than we might think is life altering.
We are in a time when many in our communities are afraid. There are many in our communities who feel unwanted, unsafe and uncertain about what the future holds for them. NCCJ — its mission and programs are more important than ever.
My father told my grandfather to never say those words to me again. And he never did.
When we stand up for one another and when we stand together to support each other — when we make space in our hearts and in our communities for all who live among us — we create a community where everyone feels like they belong.
